so that I could die

vaggvisa

descent

"I don't want You to fall and hurt yourself, that's all."

"I know, mom. - and it's not like I intend to do so either."

"...besides... Ostrobothnia is too flat!"

[LINK]

my native soil

I grew up in a country worldwide known for its efficient and prevalent bilingualism. My father comes from a home where everyone spoke Finnish, and my mother from a home where they spoke Swedish. Having Swedish speaking peers my father learned also his second language at an early age. Fate had it so, that the village where my parents chose to raise their children made both me and my brother Swedish speaking: this was nothing we ourselves had chosen. The truth is that I nowadays occasionally grieve the full bilingualism enormousely.

When I was a child it was however totally natural to me that my cousins ​​spoke Finnish, and me and my little brother... Swedish. I was proud to be from Finland. We lived in a beautiful and safe country, without war and strife. Since my name is of Finnish caracter it would sometimes happen that my Swedish-speaking classmates made fun of it. That is how unusual it was to have a Finnish name in the surroundings where I grew up. But I was still proud to be from Finland. Swedish or Finnish - did it even matter? As children we had other ways of making ourselves understood. Some class differences between language groups were not occuring in my home area in western Finland - we were all ordinary people, farmers, industry workers, carpenters or nurses. "The nobilities" we never caught sight of.

We Finns are, by nature, not a very cheerful people. One of our emigrated national saints, singer Arja Saijonmaa, recently commented in a radio interview: "A TRUE Finn NEVVVERRR laughs!" She also said that Finns carry a fury and passion that certainly needs to be expressed but - to remain healthy - in a controlled and constructive manner. "Therefore we need the Nordic companionship, the Scandinavians - to soften us up a bit!" she concluded.

Yesterday almost a fifth of the Finnish citizens decided to vote a xenophobic party into our country's government (at this point the coalition is not yet established). The most obvious agenda has been to abolish the education in Swedish language in our elementary- and secondary school, to welcome less refugees (this in comparison to a rate which is already unethically small) and to opt out from solidarity among the European countries. When it comes to art and culture the party has found it desirable for any artform to pay tribute to nationalistic values in order to receive sponsorship - if at all.

"We are not extremists," party leader Timo Soini says. "You can sleep peacefully".

No, I can not sleep peacefully. What worries me are not the 39 seats (of mandacy) True Finns acquired, but the fact that one in five Finns support a reckless party that wants to exclude us from the world, as well as severely restrict the civil rights of a substantial part of their own countrymen.

To some extent though, I can understand the support this party has received. Biologically, human beings find it difficult to include to their social context more than 100-150 individuals (animals per herd). Considering this genetic truth the globalization and global responsibility to many of us can appear as a truly scary thought. However, it is also a fact that a community which excludes a second influense usually obliterates itself, first of all. The world will manage just fine without our little strip of land on the map, but we can not do without the world.

A people with suicidal tendencies have begun to turn their aggression and inherited agony outwards. When we have reached our goal and excluded all imaginary enemies - will we feel better then or just invent new ones?

The sun is shining, it's a beautiful day outside - still my native soil has become dry and less fertile. Over night.

[LINK]
[LINK2]

just a singer

Last sunday I gave a concert in a church for the first time in 15 years (of course I forgot to have photos taken, sorry about that). It went really well, thank You for asking, and I am still filled with joy over each and everyone attending. My fellow musicians were absolutely brilliant! Love You all!

I'm an educated pastor of congregation and during my younger years the Christian societies of Ostrobothnia were my natural habitat, until I left the profession used and abused and totally burned out after only a couple of years as a humble servant. I don't believe anyone meant to do me harm, I was just too young. Anyway, I have not longed back for one minute. I still don't. However, I think each and every one of us have our own personal ghosts from the past we need to deal with. Sooner or later.

Besides, I like to sing. No. I LOVE IT. I NEED TO.

My main ghost from the middle of the 90's chickened out though. That makes me a very brave girl, because I was there and he was not - although he certainly was expected to be, by all of us. But there is no use blaming a coward for being a coward. Cowards tend to stay faithful to the only way of living they think they can handle, no matter if it suffocates them or not. The refined art of avoiding confrontation and development. Makes it a little bit hard to breathe sometimes, doesn't it...?

I prefer my personal hell hot, short and effecient - pretty much like an overheated Finnish sauna - and then over and done with.

But hey... that's just me.

I'm just a singer.

[LINK]

swanlights

påminnelse

AprilJazz i Solf Missionshus, ikväll söndag 10.4 kl.18 Adress: Solfvägen 202

Vår tid - Vårt land

Så här låter folktingets nya kampanjlåt för tolerans!

Artister: Geir Rönning, Krista Siegfrieds, André Linman, Elin Blom, Paradise Oskar alltså Axel Ehnström, Fredrik Furu, Nina Lassander, Lasse Mellberg, Frida Andersson, Ville Pusa och André Linman.

Låtskrivare: Pasi Hiihtola, Patric Sarin och Niklas Rosström.

APRILJAZZ - "med ögon känsliga för grönt"

(klicka på bilden för större format)

Söndagen 10 april kl. 18.00 återvänder jag till mina musikaliska rötter i mer än ett avseende och framträder i Solf Missionshus tillsammans med Stefan Jansson, Egon Veevo och Christoffer Kaustell. Våren och skapelsen till ära sjunger jag allt ifrån Joni Mitchell via Barbro Hörberg till Take 6 och en hel del däremellan. Varmt välkomna!

om att aldrig ha fel

Mina öron lyssnar till hans argument, men själen är förorättad. Det låter ju så fint, allt det där pratet om ovillkorlig kärlek och andlig intuition etc. Men just därför skulle han aldrig erkänna att han någonsin har fel - att han någonsin begår misstag. Resonemanget slutar alltid med att ANDRAS tolkningar av i stort sett vilken situation som helst är vanföreställningar. Konfronterad med sina egna tillkortakommanden tar därför den ovillkorliga kärleken hastigt slut: trots att det "milt överseende" leendet fortfarande sitter fastklistrat på läpparna.

Människor som aldrig gör fel skrämmer mig. (Är de ens människor? Finns de?)

Människor som gör fel men aldrig erkänner det skrämmer mig ännu mer.

Motvilligt vistas jag i deras närhet.

Själv begår jag misstag hela tiden.

I oförstånd, i brådskan, i bristen på medlidande.

Ibland gör jag medvetet fel mot någon också.

Då brukar jag oftast skämmas - efteråt.

Man kan ha rätt i sak, men ändå göra fel.

Men man kan också göra fel och bli förlåten.

Jag misstar mig ibland.

Men inte alltid.

Och nu säger MIN intuition mig att det är bäst att släppa taget.

Jag behöver inte fler lektioner av samma slag.

fear

when will that be?

teen issues

When my brother was in his teens he used to walk either 3 m infront of, or 3 m behind, our parents. I'm six years older than him and by that time I had already forgotten about my own adolescent behavior. I doubt it was that much different from his.

When my cousin was about to get married, and we prepared for the wedding, we were all devastated by my brother's haircut. Or the lack of haircut, really, but would he visite the hairdressers? - No.

I'm a social councellor. I work with all age groups, but mostly young people. I'm ok at what I do. My adepts seldome despise me. Yet, when it comes to my own son, who is now thirteen... I must be the most embarrassing mother in the whole wide world. On the world wide web too, he will claim after this blogpost right here. He will also roll his eyes and then with a heavy sigh notify me of the fact that his dad is not much better, nor his grandparents and that we all need to realize the world has changed since the fall of the Roman Empire...

So, what do I do, after embarrassing the kid infront of his peers by simply being my own silly self? (that is breathing, looking, saying hello... or merely excisting as evidence he was once an infant...) Well, I apologize. I tell him I meant no harm. That I'm not yet as well educated in being the parent of a teenager, that he needs to give me instructions for the rules applied to his areena, that I need some time to adjust to the new standards... and that I love him.

All of this is true. Those last words I would of course have to whisper. Or say only when no-one's listening. Not with too much affection, either. Just... hint... actually.

After that I would probably suggest we'd make chicken sticks for dinner.

the pulse of life

- one apartment and six drummers -

a temporary dive

elegy

(click photos for enlarged view)

An elegy to my dear globetrotting friend [Henry] for his wonderful photos!

invictus

(click image for enlarged view)

underwater

British artist and avid diver Jason DeCaires Taylor is unwilling to accept the prediction that 80% of coral reefs will be lost by 2050. His latest project in the ocean near Cancun, "The Silent Evolution", is a series of over 400 underwater sculptures of human figures which are based off of photographs of real people. Taylor views the statues as a metaphor for the evolution of human life, but they also exist as part of actual marine life, operating as an artificial reef.

[LINK]

ragamuffin

Found a new favourite. Of course he is already dead.

Hello Earth