I try to be the sweetest girl ever and what reviews do I get on my attempts! ”Du har STAKE, Anni!” (Swedish for “You’ve got guts” or even “You’ve got COCK”)
No, I do not have a cock and some days not much guts either. The fact is, I wish I was a bit more like that. I have made a decision though, not to run around apologising for being myself anymore.
I was such a tomboy when I grew up. I behaved like a boy and I even looked like one. I was always taller than all my friends. But I was shy. Much more so, than anyone ever noticed or understood. I became an expert on hiding both my potential and my personality. Growing up in Ostrobothnia, Finland, is being closely watched and guarded by the law of Jante – everybody knows it, some of us admit it but not a lot of us fight it.
For most of my life, the greatest question when it comes to challenges - or breaking new ground - has NOT been wether I'm ABLE to do something, but rather if I’m ALLOWED to do it. Admitting to being interested, wanting something or GOD FORBID! even asking for what I want… still does not come easy.
I accidentally stumbled into Muddy Waters on Spotify this morning. “The mannish boy”, so full of himself and yet irresistibly charming. Is it ok for a woman to have a rolemodel like that when it comes to selfconfidence? For a shy tomboy?
It’s not like I would ever become a hoochie coochie man anyway.
No, I do not have a cock and some days not much guts either. The fact is, I wish I was a bit more like that. I have made a decision though, not to run around apologising for being myself anymore.
I was such a tomboy when I grew up. I behaved like a boy and I even looked like one. I was always taller than all my friends. But I was shy. Much more so, than anyone ever noticed or understood. I became an expert on hiding both my potential and my personality. Growing up in Ostrobothnia, Finland, is being closely watched and guarded by the law of Jante – everybody knows it, some of us admit it but not a lot of us fight it.
For most of my life, the greatest question when it comes to challenges - or breaking new ground - has NOT been wether I'm ABLE to do something, but rather if I’m ALLOWED to do it. Admitting to being interested, wanting something or GOD FORBID! even asking for what I want… still does not come easy.
I accidentally stumbled into Muddy Waters on Spotify this morning. “The mannish boy”, so full of himself and yet irresistibly charming. Is it ok for a woman to have a rolemodel like that when it comes to selfconfidence? For a shy tomboy?
It’s not like I would ever become a hoochie coochie man anyway.
4 kommentarer:
:) I think you are just perfect as you are right now! I love you read about your life and your influences.
Aaaw, that is so sweet of You, Darren... :-)
However, I found this quote earlier today:
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them." ~ Joseph Heller
Sort of makes You wonder about the strenght in causality, doesn't it? What-You-do-with-what-You-got.
But I think you can be a "Mannish Girl! Oh yeah!
I AM a mannish girl, Lasse! Oh yeah! ;-)
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